dekutree:

i had a dream last night that i got a package from amazon and me and my sister were there and we were both like i didn’t order anything and we opened it and like 7000 tarantulas came out and i freaked out and my sister was like not scared at all and she just dug into the box and pulled out a letter that said “fuck you ivan” and she started laughing like “damn someone really hates you ivan” with tarantulas crawling all over her and i was on top of the couch like what the fuck???

(Source: dekutrickortreat)

apatheticghost:

you are at the beach. you see a large shell. you pick it up and put it to your ear to hear the ocean, but instead you hear dubstep and rave music. inside the shell are hundreds of crustaceans, dancing, raving, drinking, and shooting heroin. you put down the shell.

(via hoeful)

condom:

don’t tell me to calm down I’ll throw a fucking desk at your face

(via hoeful)